aka: Crimewave
and so at midnight, just 12 minutes from now
mass murderer Victor Ajax will be executed
at the Hudsucker State Penitentiary
Now it's Ajax's turn to die.
Ajax, a security system's repair man gets death by electrocution
Thus writing finis to the horrible tale of murder and mayhem
that shocked our fair city just...
claiming innocence to the end, but nothing can save Ajax now.
You...
No...
Sit down!
Wait... wait... no... no... no!
Okay, Gout
Just fried Gurwitz
You're next, Ajax
But I'm innocent. Innocent, I tell ya
Don't give them the satisfaction
Ajax!
Well, good luck kid, give my regards to Golds.
Come on pipsqueak, we're saving a seat for ya!
Say, you look like a couple of reasonable fellows and...
let me explain what's.. . what's going on here
I'm not supposed to be here!
It's all a big mistake
It's no hard feelings on this end.
Mistakes do happen
and naturally I can explain everything
see I only worked for Mr Odegard and Mr Trend
I was an employee in their security shop
and Mr Odegard wasn't a very nice guy and...
Don't sit down, Vic!
I guess he was planning to sell the shop right out
from under Mr Trend's nose
So tell me Odegard... do you still o-v-e love it?
Could you die? Does it... ah... trip your alarm?
Frankly, Renaldo, what you do with this shop
after you bought it doesn't interest me in the least
But let's keep this little transaction to ourselves
I wouldn't want my partner to know he's losing his business
Somehow, Mr Trend must have found out about it
Mr Trend wasn't such a bad guy
but he and his wife had sunk
their whole lives into that business and...and...
Mr Trend would have done anything for his wife....
anything.
Center City Exterminators...
Trend?
You there?
Give me the word, come on, ya creep.
Do it tonight, he'll be working late, alone...
and make it quick
I don't want him to suffer
Did you hear that, Arthur? He doesn't want him to suffer long!
Helene, I'll never let that rat destroy our happiness
you can count on it.
So, so you see...
I had no idea Mr Trend was up to something
nobody did, it was between the two partners
I had nothing to do with it!
If you could only find Nancy, she's my witness.
If you could only find her she'd tell you I'm totally innocent.
She'd tell you the whole time I was across the street from the shop
installing the video security system
in Mr Trend's apartment building
Mr Trend!
Honey, I'm home
Who is it?
It's me Mr Trend!
Oh... Hi, Vic. What's on your mind?
Silliest damn thing, it's a broom closet!
Well, one more camera
Mr. Trend and it's...
back to the shop
Fine, back to the...
You know Vic, I'm glad we ran into each other
in this amusing fashion
For a long time now I've been looking to have a heart to heart with you
you know you're always been more than just an employee
to Helene and I
Honey, I'm home
You find this work appealing, don't you, Vic?
And how, Mr Trend!
And have you ever thought about the grand design?
I mean, there's something missing, isn't there, Vic
A door, Mr Trend?
What's behind the door, Vic?
Oh,... Oh...Jeez,...
Mr. Trend I'd love to have a foyer, but on my salary...
a large apartment is...
I'm not talking about the anteroom, Vic...
I'm talking about the little princess inside.
Lord knows I'll do anything for Helene
Don't go back to the shop
Take the rest of the day off. Now you go out and find a little princess
that you'd do anything for. Now you go out there and find yours.
Oh, Thanks, Mr. Trend
Just make sure that... she knows who's boss
Okey-dokey, Mr. Trend
How are you tonight, Colonel?
Adequate!
One night I'm loving. Hell of a storm brewing.
You know how I can tell?
No, how?
Steel plate.. in my head.
Yes sir, Korea was no picnic.
Word of advice son, when you hook up 4G
don't flirt with the filly that lives there.
She'll slap you quicker than you can say "present arms".
Yes sir, there's one woman that can take care of herself...
All by herself...
All by...
Taking care of herself
that's important
but two people
taking care of each other
that's romance...
romance
Let's see
chapter one: The perfect woman
Of course the perfect woman is not just gonna walk into my life, Gee...
Ohhooooooooo... Holy moly!
Oh! my goodness, are you okay?
Come on fuck, get outta the road!
You're a maniac!
Incredible, I've never seen anything like that!
- Are you alright? - Ah.. ha. oh..
Oh its.. oh, oh.. you've got the key... whoops.
One more thing, chode, don't you EVER call me a maniac.
I should get away and watch where I'm going.
Are you alright?
Yeah...
Are you alright?
Me? Yes.
Excuse me?
What?
Oh, I.. I.. thought you... said something.
No.
Ah....
...you didn't?
Well...Thanks again
Um! Would you... Iike...to have...
some lunch some evening?
I'm sorry, No!
Ah, or a cup of coffee?
No, no, really.... I ah...
I'll pay.
No, that's not it...really...I...
Well look...
If you're not hungry... maybe we could just chat.
Hey, hey!
I've got the rest of the night off and...
Renaldo!
Hiya, cupcake
Say, where were you?
I had to walk home from work
Oh I... oh.. I ran into an old army buddy and
I was detained
Hi, I'm Vic
Owww...!
Glad to know you
Say, what the hell, in the neighborhood
wadda you say you and I go out and
drown a couple olives, huh?
Well, I don't know... you..
It's a date then. 8 o'clock Rialto Cafe, eh?
Well, okay!
Socially the man's a genius, I wonder if he's read this book
- Bye Baby! - Goodbye Renaldo, goodbye!
In all my years in the city... I ain't seen nothing like this...
...cheap Japanese umbrella...
I am so scared...
Holy Hanna, are you okay?
Jesus, I don't know
Look out for the [pole]!
Did you see that?
Helene, please come away from the window
Is that Mr Odegard's car down there?
Honey, this roast is absolutely delicious
Is Mr Odergard working late tonight?
No..
he went home..
to eat his dinner.
he was very hungry and he went home
Well, it looks like there's a light on down there.
Helene, your food's getting cold.
He's still there, honey and it's after 7 o'clock.
I didn't know you were still there, honey.
I didn't know that Mr Odergard would be working late tonight.
Wait.... I think somebody's with him
I'm going down there!
Get away from that fucking window!
I'm sorry
I'll go down
You can't go out in this... terrible weather
Don't call anybody
I'll see what's going on
Remember what I said
I didn't expect him in the shop tonight
it's a complete surprise to me
a total surprise...
and...
You'd like that, wouldn't ya, baby?
A thousand guys would give a thousand bucks to have dinner
with a girl like that.
Just look at that guy
I'm not that kind of girl!
Well, with a little practice you could learn to be
Oh, now, now.. wait a minute, cupcake.
Nice tie!
Ooh! $76
Okay, here's forty
Rupert then, and I had the appetizer.
Call me a sport
I'd call you a heel!
So I'm a heel
So what of it?
Who are you?
Maybe I'm just a guy who hates heels.
Maybe I'm a heel who hates guys who hate heels.
Oh yeah? Well maybe I'm a guy...
Oh... ah...
Loser
Oh, oh. The eye... noodles.
Go on! Go on!
What in the living hell am I doing here?
I oughta shove those binoculars down your throat.
Jiminy Christ, how'd I ever get myself into this?
For cryin' out loud.
So long, partner...
Nobody makes a fool out of Ernest Aloysius Trend.
Now everything's hunky-dory.
No witnesses.
I know, Officer.
I couldn't say where he is.
Enemies?...
None that I knew of... know of...
Yes...
Donald was very much beloved by all.
Of course, I'm sure he's alright
Murdered?
Ernest, is everything alright?
Yeah, fine.... I'm at the shop
Are you sure?
Odergard's gone... It looks like he uses the back door for the [??].
Okay, and come on, honeykins, your dinner's getting cold.
Ok, I'll be right home dear... goodbye.
I used to think that the key to happiness...
was the installation and repair of small electrical appliances
but... well, I don't claim to know
a whole lot about the grand design
but lately I haven't been able to
shake the feeling that something's missing
and I'm not talking about the foyer or the anteroom.
Cherish is the word I use to describe all the feelings that I have
hiding here for you inside
I don't know how many times I wish that I had told you
I don't know how many times I wish that I could hold you
I don't know how many times...
I wish that I could mould you into someone...
who could cherish me.. as much as I cherish you...
I haven't seen you here before
I like that in a woman
You're cute
Keep talking baby, maybe you'll tell me something
I don't already know
...I don't know how many times I wish that I could hold you
I don't how many times I wish...
Arthur...
For all we know, this is the guy that hired us.
Now it's a two for one sale.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is.. that the perfect woman is
is pretty much in the eye of the beholder
It's funny... just some dames dig round chuck.
when they could have prime rare.
Oh, you man you!
No one can be perfect on their own.
Each person needs someone to
believe in them, to see them as being someone special
people shouldn't be afraid to take care of each other
Nancy... today, when I saw you fall
all I wanted to do was take care of you
Hey!
I didn't, didn't you?
Foolish..
Whoa
Ernest Aloysius Trend, what on earth is keeping you?
Have a cab? You'll pay for that
I don't want to break a hundred.
Take your bag, sir?
No mus, no fuss... Leave the bagging to us.
Spies... above.
Lady, you ain't seen nothing...
YET!
Put up your dukes.
What mother son's raising all that ruckus out here?
What's this?
Victor, you're a very nice guy
and I appreciate what you tried to do for me tonight
but this is one woman who can take care of herself
Let's have a big round of applause for Johnny and the boys.
Vic, would you lend me $36?
Sure!
If I had $36...
I don't usually walk around with that much money on me!
So where on earth am I going to get $36?
Ladies and gentlemen
The winners of tonight's Rialto Dance Riot will receive $36.
Woman found torn limb from limb in West Side apartment....
Film at eleven.
Operator
It's an emergency...
Oh, please... help me...
there's a man hitting... ah!
Well, ah.. you see.. my husband went across the street... and... oh!
ah...ah...before that, I'd seen Mr Odegard
I'd seen him working late and
I'm going to pull out your...
Where am I?
Come to papa, sweetheart.
Oh, playing hard to get, huh? I like it that way.
Okay... hmmm..
Help!
Drop her you little punk.
I'm gonna kick your ass.
Buckwheat, I is gonna give you an advantage.
Take a last good Iook at God's sweet earth, Mister.
'cause youz about to meet the being what made it.
Mr Yarman?
Quiet down, Mrs. Trend.
There but one way to catch a rat in the dark,
you wait.
Rat, he just gotta show you his pink little ass
You can't seem to catch this rat!
I'll get ya.
Rat ain't been made what can get away from Mr Yarman
See?
It's a long road that's got no end.
To catch a rat, you gotta find him first.
Right
And rats like me are hard to find
Oh honey, look at that man!
Better not getting involved
Hey, what's so funny? Why don't you share it with the rest of us.
Aw, go on...
- Taxi! - Where to?
Some night, huh?
Some night? It couldn't have possibly been worse
I almost get run over, lose a dance contest...
Heh..
get stood up by a heel
and spend most of the evening washing dishes to...
pay for a good time I didn't have
It couldn't possibly have been worse.
You met me didn't ya?
Exactly
I think things could have been a lot worst
Look at the bright side
You and your bright side?
There is no bright side
You're not being rational, Nancy
of course there's a bright side
No bright side, no bright side, no bright side, NO BRIGHT SIDE!
Nancy, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that... Oh!
I can take care of myself
Of course you can, Nancy
but taking care of each other, that's what's important
Who are you?
You're ruining my day.
What'd I do?
What's all that noise?
Car 9, car 9 report to Watchtower apartments
Domestic squabble. That is all.
Come on...
Who are you anyway?